Tasks to Give Your Bridesmaids

Many people underestimate their bridesmaids and while they're happy to have their brides for moral support it's not just the Bridezillas that struggle to delegate. Many believe that bridesmaids are simply there to be friends, to show up and accessorize the bride which, considering how much work weddings are, makes them a very underutilized resource. It's expected that the maid of honor helps out but many bridesmaids are never asked to help when they would be happy to given the opportunity. As a Dallas wedding photographer, I've seen my share of Bridezillas but I've also seen delegation work to make everyone's lives easier on the day.

Tasks you CAN Delegate Before the Wedding

• Dress Shopping
• Floral Input
• Invitation Stuffing
• Favor Creation/Packaging
• Organizing the Bridal Shower
• Book their own travel/hotel arrangements

Tasks that can be delegated are those which do not require any decision making which doesn't expressly involve the bridesmaids. Their input when choosing their own dresses and flowers can lead to a lot less headache and you can even have them coordinate with the maid of honor rather than the bride until the choices have been narrowed down. This allows the bride not to have to deal with the drama which often comes when bridesmaids disagree. The exception to this is when you have a very specific bridesmaid dress in mind and that is non-negotiable. The same will be true of your flower arrangements for the bridesmaids. While their input can be useful (for example, if one of your bridesmaids is allergic to roses it's good to know before handing her an entire bouquet of nothing but) it isn't necessarily required.

Packing/Stuffing

Those tasks which bridesmaids are ideal for are the ones that are often time-consuming which adds extra stress to the bride. Unless you're hiring a coordinator or someone who includes these tasks things like wedding envelope stuffing and favor packaging can be done much quicker by several people working together instead of just the bride herself. It can often be something a bride doesn't think about and will try and do in her spare time when that time might be better spent elsewhere.

Party Planning

As the maid of honor, you might be asked to take on a few more responsibilities than the bridesmaid, as the bride doesn't forget that she may also need assistance which is where the bridesmaids come in. The bridal shower and bachelorette parties, for example, are often tasked to the maid of honor alone but within these tasks, smaller things can then be delegated. Make sure your maid of honor knows how to contact the other bridesmaids once they're chosen so she can coordinate with them and delegate herself.

Travel Arrangements

If you're planning a destination wedding or your bridesmaids are coming from far away they will also need a place to stay. It is not up to the bride to organize that, something many wedding party guests seem to forget. While the couple may organize a reduced rate at a hotel for a group of guests which the bridesmaids can take advantage of it is not up to them to pay for or make those arrangements beyond that. Tell your bridesmaids the pertinent information, but after that let them take on the task themselves. If you think that several bridesmaids traveling together may want to split costs make sure they have each other's numbers but don't get involved after that. As a wedding photographer, I can't count the amount of time I've seen a bride pre-wedding having to deal with bridesmaids who seem to forget they are grown adults capable of making their own arrangements just because they're involved in a wedding. It is definitely the bridesmaid's own job to take care of this.

Tasks you CAN'T Delegate

• Vendor Choices
• Wedding Dress Shopping

Vendor Choices

Any tasks which specifically requires the bride or groom making a choice for their wedding doesn't need bridesmaid input. In fact, this can be a situation of “too many cooks” because everyone will have their own opinion. A second opinion can be useful but that's what the groom is there for in this case. Vendors such as location, cake maker, caterer etc may all be suggested by bridesmaids (especially if they had a good experience) but ultimately the task to check them out and make a decision is up to the couple. As an Dallas wedding photographer, I don't really get to see the bridesmaids until the day of the wedding, it's rare that I have to coordinate with them beforehand since they're not included in picking a style or the bridal photos before the event.

Wedding Dress Shopping

The same thing goes for choosing the wedding dress itself. Taking the maid of honor and maybe one bridesmaid dress shopping is the best way of not getting too many opinions, especially if you plan on bringing your MIL or family with as well, in the end, the dress is the bride's choice and everyone has a different style which can make a real headache when trying to make a decision.

Tasks For the Wedding Day

• Help Dress the Bride
• Assist the Bride with snacks, bathroom etc
• Help the MIL and MOH as needed
• Deliver final payments/tips to vendors

Dress the Bride

That wedding dress can be tricky. Whether it's helping hold up the corset for the MOH to lace or simply being there to hand the veil over to the father of the bride helping dress the bride is an essential part of the bridesmaid's duties. While many brides simply assume the MOH is going to be the one doing this there can be too many things going on and she also has to dress so being ready to assist simply makes everyone's life easier. As a wedding photographer, I always try and capture different people helping the bride dress because everyone is part of the wedding party and part of the day.

Assist the Bride/MOH/MIL

Most brides are so wrapped up in their day that they can forget simple things like eating. Be there with water, snacks, tissues, and emergency items if needed. The MOH will likely have most of this covered but it's always good to ask and make sure. Especially in an afternoon or evening wedding, it's very common for the bride not to eat which can lead to fainting and even being sick if the food is too rich. The same goes for the rest of the wedding party. While a bridesmaid shouldn't be trying to take care of everyone they are there to make sure that the small tasks run smoothly in the background for the main participants. Bridesmaids can also be used to run errands on the day while the rest of the party is occupied, for example, if the bride accidentally left her shoes at home or if the hair stylist needs more pins. They are ideal for delegating tasks like that as they are often not on such a tight schedule with so much to fit in.

Deliver Payments/Tips

Everyone wants to get paid, and as a Dallas wedding photographer, I can totally understand how a busy day means that envelopes get mislaid or forgotten. By delegating the final payments to a bridesmaid you know who has the envelopes and where they are so that you can enjoy the wedding without worrying if everyone will get paid out.

As a Dallas wedding photographer, I've seen weddings go smoothly, and I've seen utter chaos. Honestly, it was better for everyone when things went smoothly and one thing I've found in common was that all those brides made use of others within their wedding party so that they could focus on enjoying the day and focusing on the big tasks knowing that smaller things were taken care of.